Saturday, March 04, 2006

Postcard To Gordon...Month 3

Dear Gordon,

3 Months Old!! (March 3)

Now I see what the other fathers were talking about. This month you started smiling and playing for real (non of this gas inspired facial gestures). I don’t feel like such an idiot when I make silly faces or dance all nerdy around you – as you have started realizing how much a goof your dad is.

On that note, I realize how much I’m becoming like your Grandpa (my dad), and if I hadn’t realized it myself, your mom and Aunt Terry are sure to point it out on a very regular basis.

It’s really made me think a lot lately. Having full appreciation for the way I was raised and the antics of my Dad at this point in time, I’m not sure if I always did – not in a negative way, just in a way that I hadn’t fully appreciated yet. I used to roll my eyes, shake my head, and get embarrassed in public. But looking back at it now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I became my dad. I’m happy with that, but Gord, I’m not sure you will be. You are destined for a life of embarrassment, and “Ughhhh, Dad!!... Mom, tell him to stop!!!”. Again I thought about this. Having clear memory of what it was like when I was going through that, I’ve thought about whether that is something I want to put you through. I didn’t have to think hard though to realize that I wouldn’t want it any other way for you either – even if I had a choice.

That is something that has become quite clear to me this past month… I really didn’t have much of a choice in my parenting style. As a result of my appreciation for the way I was raised and the antics of my dad, I don’t ‘try’ to do anything different. I’m surprised at how natural I am at being such a goof. Even if I wanted to, I would really have to work hard at doing something different. It’s made me realize that there is nothing wrong with being like your dad. And if the day comes, and you hear, “Oh Gord, you are so much like your father” I only hope you take it as a compliment… because that’s how I’ve come to accept it.

I love you Gordon!


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