Friday, December 30, 2005

Postcards from "Operation: Yay For Me"

...hmmm, where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, so Kim tells me that P. (the woman I interview with) had called and left a message for me. (Following her email, I sent back a quick reply requesting some follow up as to what the 'different' direction was - I was bothered that I still hadn't heard from her as of Wednesday). So I was relieved that she at least was following up with me. I have to admit though, the thought did cross my mind that perhaps the person they offered the job to turned it down - but I can say now that was not the case - but it did cross my mind. Really though, who is told they don't get the job, and then get an offer 4 days later...

Anyhow, quite intrigued, I quickly returned her call. When we finally got in touch, I thanked her for getting back to me, and she asked if she could speak frankly. She began to tell me why I did not get the job... Get this, remember that last minute hand off of the White Paper? Well, the national manager opened it, began to read it, was turned off by one of the very frank comments/observations made in it, and second guessed EVERYTHING we had talked about. Long and short of it, I had the job up to the moment I gave that paper. I shot myself in the foot. F*cking Harry screwed me again!!!! (He wrote the majority of the paper).

She went on to wiggle the knife that she just recently stuck in my gut by stating that I was always her number one choice, and that it's unfortunate that I gave them that - considering they did not ask for me to 'prepare' anything - as it made them start thinking of other objections to my successful fit. She went on to state (continuing to play with my emotions) that it was ultimately however her call - not his. I saw that as my chance - I sold like I never sold before. I went on to overcome the objections that were raised bla bla bla, and the call ended with her requesting to call me back after she called her boss with my 'explanations'.

5 minutes later, I get the call... Again, my emotions ripe, she states that he still does not believe that I would be the right fit - considering my previous 'VP' title and consulting background... no dice.

"A left, then a right, and oh, the finishing move - he's down for the count..."

"...But wait, the punch was below the belt, let's go to the judges for a final ruling..."

She reminds me that it is ultimately her call, she has always liked me, and "I don't normally do this, but I would like to make you an offer over the phone. "

Yay for me!!

She presented me a salary offer - I had to decline. I came back with an offer (after disclaiming I was not intending to shoot myself in the other foot) and we settled just under my counter offer. Job accepted!

So today, (2 days later), I quit my job, and had to go to toronto to sign some documents etc.

I also got the full scoop on my benefits/perks. I got a tablet pc. Very cool! Waiting on my phone, company credit card and I need to order my home/business line. (They also pay for my home internet). And tomorrow I am going to the dealership to test drive some cars. I need to choose between the G6 or the Impala. Suggestions/reviews??

This Monday, I'm off to San Diego for a week - sales conference etc. (Which kinda sucks, cause I don't want to leave Gordo - or Kim for that matter!!) But really, California, I'm not complaining.

So, I'm happy. I really wanted out of my job. Doug who I work(ed) with made the best comment i've heard so far... A job is like a relationship, it takes both parties to make it work. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Just because the girl (work) puts out (pays you a salary) doesn't make it a great relationship. There is more needed to be happy.

So that's that. Sorry, I know most read the posts for Gord, but a little me can't hurt. Speaking of the boy, he just finished a boob licking, and now it's daddy time!! (ha, not the boob licking part... I meant gord and daddy time, but.... hmmm....)


Thursday, December 29, 2005

Postcards from... ooooh, can't say!

Oh I'm so excited!

In lieu of the fact that I haven't posted in a few days, I felt the need to do so. However, as 'Big Brother', or members of, may be monitoring, I can't exactly divulge why I am so excited. I will leave it as "Operation: Yay For Me".

Some may know already, and those who don't should read about it this weekend - as the 2005 mayhem will come to its climactic conclusion sometime in the next 24 hours. (For those that may know, please don't post any comments as I again refer to the 'Big Brother is watching'. I'm not paranoid, but rather careful.)

Anyhow, my life has taken a turn for the better, and it couldn't happen at a better time... Perhaps I can divulge a little of what's taken place over the last few weeks - as this shouldn't be too incriminating... and it will reveal why I am excited compared to the lowest of the low I felt this christmas...

As most may have read, I don't exactly enjoy where I work. Well, that's not entirely true. I really really enjoy 'WHERE' I work and 'WHO' I work with... I just don't enjoy everything else. The atmosphere and people I work with have made the job an absolute treat, and is the only reason I have not moved on. The part I don't like was referenced in the "Postcards From Work". Anyhow, as most people I work with, I am always on the lookout for new opportunities. Well, one day many weeks back, after being screwed for the umpteenth time at work, I came across a job posting. A sales rep role, for a company that is reputable, offered a very attractive remuneration package (Great Base, Greater Bonuses, Expense account, Company Car!!!) and the chance to be working from home when not on university campuses. It attracted me. Just for shits and giggles I sent off my resume - perhaps a mistake, perhaps not... anyhow, I got an email the following week requesting an interview. I hesitated before responding, but decided that keeping my options open was a good idea.

I went for the meeting, had a great time with the regional manager, and apparently impressed her. I was informed by her that I was a 'top' candidate and that I was going to be given a second interview. (This is where I started getting sucked in' - I got excited about the job, and was told I had a great opportunity to obtain the position). I was told that I should hear by the end of the week for a time and place. Well, almost 2 weeks went by before getting word that an interview was coming... 'stay tuned'. Well, the following week I was requested for a meeting. conveniently, I was on 'Parental Leave' so I was available without dodging work - this was the wednesday before Christmas.

I had built my hopes up (based on her earlier comment that I was a 'top candidate') which I really should not have done. When I got to the meeting, I realized there were 2 other candidates being interviewed. Not too shaken, I went through my meeting with the national manager and the manager I originally met with. Hard to judge his reactions, I asked my question: 'What do you see as any reasons for me not obtaining the position? - perceived weaknesses or obstacles I need to overcome?' She piped in and again stated I was a top choice, while he continued the sentiment that I had all the qualities they were looking for - and no weaknesses.

We finished up the meeting, and as I was packing up following our final farewell, I offered them a "White Paper" that I had compiled while at T&A last year. I filled out a short questionnaire that they requested, and I left being informed that I will hear from them by the end of the week - ie Dec 23rd.

Wednesday night came and went... Thursday came ... check my email... check my messages... and went... Friday came... check my email, check my email... called her requesting some information as I would like to notify my employer asap... the night came and went... I sent an email following up my phone request... Saturday, Christmas eve morning came... nothing...

Finally around 12:30 Christmas Eve, I see an Email.... heart pumping, breathing halted... I see in the gmail 'preview' the word "appreciated" ... and really, when is the word "appreciated" used other than to overcome the "YOU SUCK DUMBASS" that follows... sure shit, the email, in its entirety stated "We have decided to go in a different direction with the position. I appreciate the effort you put into the application." Dun dun dun... Merry Christmas!!!

So yeah, needless to say, I was not a happy camper. I tried (eventually successfully) to convince myself that it was not the right move for me, and that my current employer was A-OK.

So, Wednesday came, I returned to work with a refreshed attitude, ready to kick some ass... which didn't last long to be honest (Just kidding Big Brother - ha... ha... I, like, work...).

But, as most things in my life, when life kicks me in the gut, I open my eyes wide for any and all things around me... Wednesday 11:30am... phone rings, it's kim... she has news...

To be continued...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Postcards From Christmas...

Christmas... where, when, what???

Well, as quickly as it came, it was gone.... Another year over. Gord, being a little too overstimulated made the last 24 hours (and next 12 I'm sure) quite exhausting.

I don't really have much to say about the whole ordeal, other than a big 'Thank - You' to all those who took the time to put a gift under our tree...

We appreciated everything!!!

Hope you all had a good time with or without us.


Friday, December 23, 2005

Postcards from Pre-Christmas Madness!!!

(Insert mad scientist laugh here...)

Wow, December 23rd. With all the craziness hitting our household, it really does not feel like christmas. It has to do with a few things - the obvious being Gord, but also the fact that we received our presents from the major players in Santa's arena weeks ago. My folks got us our much needed deep freeze, and Kim's ma got us our front foyer furniture (mind you a little elf told me that there may be a present or two still comin' - as I giggle like a schoolgirl). But really, now that Gord is here, we don't count. Still on the present front, Kim and I have opted to pass on exchanging gifts as our 'gift' arrived December 3rd - (insert cheezy 'awe' here). (I'm sure your asking what's with the annoying/overdone 'insert blabla here' - I don't have an answer for you other than my two glasses of wine and the bitter mood I appear to be in).

So whether it be the lack of gifts or the additional human being living in my house, I just can't get into christmas. Perhaps the biggest reason is this is the first year that I'm not in Sudbury. I don't get to spend it with extended family - which to me, IS christmas. Presents aside, nothing screams christmas more than the parties that accompany it. It typically starts christmas eve - finger foods, talking music, travel, beverages and musings, and of course, punch .... mmm... punch - forget the finger foods. Christmas day in Skead has been a staple, and has brought some of the best christmas memories - mmm food... so much food. To finish the holiday festivities, is the notorious Boxing day boozing at Burnsies. That was closure to a great holiday - wine, rye, pictionary, Lyndsay's 'mystery' drinks, Paul getting some "I'm Stupid" sign on his back, the attack of the 'Kim's', Chris telling Kim (L.) how much she's always loved her, Burnie falling asleep, and someone (usually a Loney) throwing up somewhere. (ok, that last part was never the highlight of the evening - I always enjoyed the men kicking the girls asses in pictionary/cranium).

Having said that, with every good thing, it must someday come to an end...or at least be put on hold. Don't get me wrong - I am very excited that this christmas I am with my immediate (and new) family, the first year in our new home. I realize that things change, people get older, new people arrive, and it will eventually come full circle. Gord (and our other kids) will have their family over to our house, games, presents, and the boozing will continue... boy it must all be about the bozzing eh.

Well on that note, have a drink for me!

Postcards from the inevitable...

Well, yesterday was Dave's (my bro-in-law's) birthday - 30! And with no insult intended to anyone of the age (or greater) - I have dreaded the day it's my turn for as long as I can remember. With a little over 3 years to go, I realize I may not hit my goal I set 15 years ago - Early Retirement!

Not so much of a goal to stop working, but more of a goal of financial and 'working for the man' freedom. 2 months ago I (along with my family and a friend/coworker) were well on our way until fate decided it wasn't what it had in store for me. This isn't a postcard about me griping and 'woe that things fell apart' - I have accepted it and moved on. But the point is, things don't always work out the way we expect - but sometimes for the better.

I'm a very strong believer that things happen for a reason. My whole life has been like that. I have example after example of how 'fate' (or whatever you want to call it) has punched me in the gut only to show me $20 on the ground when I buckle over in pain.

Earlier this week the movie 'The Family Man' with Nick Cage was on T.V - which we watched again, and I couldn't help but relate. I like to think that my non-billionaire success is withheld because I would lose everything I have now... and that is not something I would compromise.

Take the recent business venture I was embarking on. Had the parent company not put a hold on new distributorships (the same week we raised our financing, got the call center in place, the lease, etc), the first week of operation would be next week. Which means, I would be in collingwood 5 days a week for the next who knows how long, while my new son and wife are at home. Who knows what that would have been like. I would like to think that it would have ruined everything (helps me sleep at night and accept it all).

So I have Gord to thank for yet something else... and that is rearranging my goals. When I turn thirty, if my family is thriving and we have a (nice ha ha) roof over our heads, than I think I will have accomplished everything I wanted.

I'm still dreading the day - cause really who wants to be 30! But as I see in Dave, 30 may not be that bad - he has his career (and back in Ontario), new wife, and healthy family around him (and of course a beautiful and handsome new nephew)...if that's what 30 represents, bring it on.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Postcards from the Due Date...

Well, today was the due date! (well Dec 21 - yesterday by the time I got around to finishing this)... Long night, and snoring baby makes this postcard unexpectedly short... I had big plans too...


more to come in the morning perhaps.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Postcards from the future...

That's My Boy!!!

Postcards from faking incompetence...

Ever since I was 'outed' by an episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' Kim is constantly questioning whether I am faking incompetence to get out of doing things. For anyone not familiar with the concept - fake incompetence with chores/tasks, and your partner will never ask you to do it again. Anyhow, I think kim is trying to get out of diaper changes... 2 leaky diapers makes me wonder...

If she can obtain a Masters degree in Genetics, I think she can change a diaper. I'm on to you Kim!

Postcards from the files of 'Sad But True'...

Monday, December 19, 2005

Postcards from legitimate parenthood...

Well, our 'support' has picked up and moved on. We don't dare ask anyone else for help considering we sent our last support worker to the hospital!

Sunday night was our first official night as a family unit after my dad took my mom back to collingwood. I have to admit, I was nervous before the fact, not sure how we would make out. We both knew that we had Gord 100% taken care of, it was all the other things that we have relied on family to help us out with that made me a little nervous. I was surprised however that it was almost a weight off my shoulders when we first sat down, alone. When we had someone else here helping out, I always felt guilty that I was just hanging out with Gord and Kim, while someone else did the cleaning and cooking. I would ultimately get up and go assist. So I found myself more tired with someone else doing the majority of the work. When it was just kim, gord and I (and the dude), I was able to get things done on my schedule.

Our first family activity was an outing to M&M's. $160 later, our deep freeze is loaded and ready. Mmmm frozen ready to serve meals.... We then dropped in to our friends Kara and Scott to show them they are not the only ones who can have cute kids. They have twin boys just over 1 year - who we had the pleasure of spending an entire afternoon with just before Gordie came - I don't think I had one complete adult conversation that day as I was just enamoured with the preview of coming attractions.

The night continued fairly relaxed. We had decided to try the 'feed on demand' allowing all of us to possibly get more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep, but I guess we forgot to tell Gord that. He kept us on schedual, and when we wasn't feeding, was awake and swingin'. We decided that from now on, we were going to try and stimulate him for several hours before bed in hopes that he would tire himself out.

Nonetheless, we started our monday fairly rested. As I am now in charge of all things operational (non Gord related) I had my work cut out for me. With kim still in recovery mode, I went to work. I got into it over the phone with a manager at walmart, as they 'lost' my pictures that I uploaded Sunday evening (for 1 hour service). I offered to bring them a cd of the pics, if they could get the order done within an hour, but they said no. Now if I can go on a 'Dave' rant here - how does this make sense. They KNOW (as they have the record of my order, just not the files) that I placed an order sunday evening. 40+ people following that submitted orders. I offer to bring them the files on cd (as opposed to them calling their tech support to locate the files). All I ask is that the photo's be done within an hour (which is what I paid for anyhow) while I shop at their friggen store, and they say no, they can't 'bump' me to the front of the line - EVEN THOUGH I PLACED THE ORDER BEFORE ANY OTHERS. And why call it 1 HOUR PHOTO??? In the spirit of dave, the photoguy is going to get a digi cam right in the freakin' temple. An hour and a half later they call me to tell me that my pics will be ready in a half hour (ironically enough at the exact moment that I was uploading the pics to future shop).

So, I got the pics, spent another $160 at walmart on dried goods and household items (we are now prepared for the apocalypse), and came home to kim feeding Gord. I honestly don't think she stopped feeding him until 11:30 tonight. Seriously. Other than a brief moment to eat her dinner, she had him strapped to the boob all afternoon and evening. You wanna see kim wimper, tell her Gord is giving feeding cues.

Anyhow, another sleepless night of feeding and changing diapers awaits. I can't leave out the snorts, weezing and obnoxious nasal outbursts coming from the bassinet on my left (and some similar noises from the one my right). This kid definitely has some 'Grant' in him.

Cheers for now.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Postcards from Hypocrisy...

I find it interesting that when Gord burps, everyone cheers and says "good boy!"... but when I do it, I get "ugh - your gross"!!

Got Blog?

Well first off, as I've had two people comment in the last 24 hours regarding my postcards, I should let it be known that you don'tYou don't have to feel guilty reading this have to feel guilty reading this...That is why this is here. I was very apprehensive at first to start writing, and even after I did, I didn't let anyone know I had started. But then Gordie came, and it only made sense to use this as a tool to keep people informed of his happenings. Since then, as I have perhaps mentioned earlier, I find it quite addictive - and not just writing, but also reading others. So addictive in fact, I find myself slightly irate when other people don't update theirs. I'll work on that!

That brings me to my main point... any one reading this have a blog of your ownAny one reading this have a blog of your own?? If so, let me know. If not... why not start? It's easy as pie - even my mother-in-law could probably do it... well, that may be a stretch, but it is pretty easy. (At least she now knows the difference between upload and download). You can click above "Get your own Blog" and follow the prompts... very straightforward.

Well that's that.

Let me know.

Postcards from a Theorist...

I find it quite interesting that us as a species have survived for millions of years, yet according to todays "specialists" everything we have done up to about 20 years ago is wrong. For example, us as babies used to be considered 'gifts from the gods' if we were able to sleep through the night, and parents wouldn't dare wake us if we were doing so... yet, NOW, they say 'No! - wake the heathens, they must not go more than 2 hours without feeding". They claim that babies blood sugar drops too low, and the baby is 'unable' to wake itself... Ok, I can see some validity to that... but does anyone know of any babies who slept themselves to starvation?

This is where the theory kicks in... Sleep is important for the development of the brain, right? Well, I know that Kim and I have not functioned properly the last two weeks going on 2 hour spurts of sleep. So, how can a brain, that is so fresh and undeveloped expect to develop properly if it can not get more than 2 hours of sleep at any one time? Is there a correlation to the increase in A.D.D? I'm sure video games can't be entirely to blame!

Am I just under the influence of 2 hour spurts of sleep? I know your reading this... so give me your thoughts...any parents out there?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Postcard To Gordon...Week 2

Dear Gordon,

Happy two week birthday!! You continue to amaze me. Your younger brothers and/or sisters will have you to thank. You are such a treat to have, that if all babies turn out like you, you can expect 11 siblings. (Your mom may put the kibosh on that one though!).

This Postcard can't help but be influenced by the events that took place this week with your grandmother. It made me truly realize that with every new beginning, there must also be an end. It's something we are all aware of, but it often takes a close call to bring the point home.

It made me think of you. I realized that some day, inevitably, I will leave you. I thought of that day, and what moved me the most was how that will impact you.

It also made me think of how important it is, no matter how old you are, or how old I am, that you know I love you. At two weeks old, I can't stop kissing you, and telling you I love you, (and soon you will be able to return the sentiment). But at what point will that change? I know I will never stop kissing and saying I love you, but the sincerity, honesty and depth I put into sharing my feelings (and you will put into yours as a child) is something that I'm sure will change - and that saddens me.

I want you to know that the way I feel for you today, is not going to change. If it does, it will only change for the better. I will care for you more deeply, respect you for the man you have become, and admire the things you have accomplished.

I will try my best to remember the promise I make to you today, and I ask you eventually do the same. I will never feel ashamed or embarrassed to share my feelings with you, and tell you just how important you are to me…because I love you Gordon, and when my day comes, only that will remain.

Postcards From Baldness

Apparently... I'm going bald.

Just ask kim.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Postcards from the edge...

Opening Disclaimer - Kim and Gordie are fine, this post is not about them.

Opening Disclaimer 2 - I need to write, so I apologize for the babble, and fragmented sentences.

I have so much to get off my chest, but I just don't know how I can get the words out. So I write this as a form of therapy. There are things that I can put down in postcards that I can't bring myself to say out loud. Perhaps it's the 'anonymous' appeal in writing and posting. I know people are going to read this, however I'm not talking with any one person individually, and I'm not going to get an immediate 'awe, it's ok'. Don't get me wrong, I like knowing I have support, but I don't find it effective to discuss my problems with any one person - I like to just give the facts, and let myself resolve my own issues. In part I think I don't like attracting that kind of attention. It's like sandwiches, I'm very particular in the way I like these things - and working out my issues requires a particular approach.

I 'm sure it also has something to do with my recent events and how I have been the crisis manager, the crutch, the wall and support system. Me spilling my emotional angst (and receiving support) is quite different than the crisis management I have been doing, but the basic dynamic is the same. I know how it feels to be on the consoling end and I know what it does to that person. I know this is selfish, but truthfully, I don't think I care. It has been extremely hard on me to try and control a situation that I have no control over, and I will go over the edge if I experience one more tragic situation. The selfish part is that I don't have an opportunity to react to the situation how I want to, or how I need to in that particular moment. Obviously, I realize the person in need of support requires it more than I do, which is why I put myself out of the picture, but holy crap, it get's to you.

The whole Kim, emergency c-section, baby's breech thing was tramatic for me. Writing the story down really helped. Since then, I can think of the events that took place, and not have to swallow hard, and change my line of thinking. I may have over reacted, and anyone who wants to think that can go ahead and do so, but my mind is a mind that I have come to know. I know that whether I over or under reacted, I suffered shell-shock. That one incident was something, as I mentioned, that I can deal with, and have. Throw in the complications with Kim, and the stress of our new everyday life, taking time off work etc, and it made for a real exciting mind experiment - "How to become a grown up in 10 days or less".

Then last night happened. (I truthfully am not going for dramatic effect, this is just the way the words spilled out onto the page). My mom had a stroke - or something similar. She is stable now, and appears to have recovered, but the fact of the matter is before my very eyes and in my arms, at 12:30am, my mom needed help that I could not provide.

My mom has been helping out with Gord, Kim and I these past few days. At 11:30 thursday, she went to bed - feeling fine. Kim and I finished up with Gord, and came up to bed around 12:00. He needed another feeding and kim started nursing. Shortly after, I heard a rattle at our bedroom door. I thought it was The Dude, and when the door pushed open I sat up to kick him out. I was shocked to see my mom standing there, and asked "Steve, can I talk with you". Kim and I knew something was up, and I followed her into her room, where I continually asked her what was wrong. She was unable to provide me anything other than "I don't know", "I'm sorry Steve" and "I'm so scared".

Having realized she was showing symptoms of a stroke, I called 911. (Those commercials are quite effective - good job ontario health!) The ambulance arrived, and took her to the University Hospital. Out of respect for my mom, I will leave out the details of her affliction, but I can not leave out the state it put me in.

What are the odds that the two worst and most tramatic experiences one person have had in their life would happen within 2 weeks of each other!? Like with Kim's episode, I was not able to process what was taking place at the time. Once we were at the hospital, and she was showing signs of improvement, I started thinking of the worst case scenarios etc. I also realized how cruel life can be, and the impact that tragedy/loss can have on people. It made me promise myself that I would never put my family through it. I saw my end of days playing out in some remote hospital in some remote town in Europe somewhere, away from anyone who may care for me. I know that is not realistic, but I found myself getting quite angry at the whole process of life and death.

Music has such a profound impact on my life, in a narrative form, and I couldn't help but get a Jack Johnson song out of my head - the line "A brand new baby was born yesterday, just in time..." ... "why does new life make losing life, easier to understand...". It all seems overdramatic now, but for a while I felt like my life (and my mom's) was never going to be the same - and I'm sure in some form or other it won't. The hard part of it all was staying positive for my mom and telling her the complete opposite of what I was feeling/thinking while she is thinking/feeling the same things. Trying to keep her calm, while I am freaking out inside is something that I have come to be too familiar with... and I hate it.

...Well, I've had a sleep since writing the majority of the above, and my mom's condition has improved. They released her from the hospital and claimed she had a "TIA". There is still some follow up needed, but at least she is feeling (physically) better - (emotionally is a different story). I am very grateful, irregardless of what is going to happen in the future, that we now have the opportunity to regress, discuss what happened, and put the priorities of life in line moving forward. These things are usually short lived, but hopefully having a written record will help us all keep things in perspective, and not sweat the little things.

I feel better - as expected having written this (and most importantly due to the fact that she is released and stable).

Blabber blabber blabber... I think i'm done. Thanks for reading.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Postcards From the Salon...

Today was a good day! Perhaps because we got some rest, perhaps because we're not worrying about his feedings (which he had some GREAT feeds today), or perhaps because I wrote some things down...(which I have been begging kim to start doing - but she 'claims' she's too busy!)

Nonetheless, today was a lot better day.

I got a haircut.

Kim showered.

Gordie played on his play mat.

It is really amazing how good natured Gordie is. I try not to sound over zealous, but I think we really lucked out. The kid (so far - knock on wood), is so laid back, and does not complain about much. He does his little bit of fuss when we strip him down and he gets cold, but after a quick cheek to cheek rub from mom or dad (which is me - wow that still seems weird), he quiets down. He really only cries, literally, for less than 5 minutes in a 24 hour period, literally... literally. I think that's good. And he's not all ' out of it ' - like i don't think he has any issues, behaviour or development wise... I just think he's a good kid. He wakes up, looks around, moves around, but doesn't cry.

Take my nephew for example - Rielly. Great kid, we love him, but no one would deny the kid likes to talk. As a newborn baby, he wouldn't stop gibber-gabbering. Even in the womb my sister claims he was incredibly active. Gordie on the other hand, was very laid back throughout pregnancy. He would do his movements, but nothing acrobatic like. On the night of his birth, while most breech babies get 'stressed' out, their heart rates jump etc, and that's when problems occur - well, Gordie, was just chillin the whole time. Even when Doc S had her hand rammed up his butt.

I know that things change quite quickly, and he could very easily become colic, but for now, we love him.

Postcards from the real world...

Well, the age of pixie dust, puppy dogs and candy canes has faded as quickly as it came... my rose coloured glasses have turned a truer pragmatic shade. This isn't to be taken as complaining, nor reneging on any earlier comments, but rather a simple statement regarding a non-simple situation... having a baby is no easy feat"...having a baby is no easy feat!"! I don't think I ever claimed it was, but for the record, reality has hit.

Today (now yesterday by the time I post this) was a big day in the parental learning/adjusting curve - a turning point sort-a-speak. Up to this point, everything was new - everyday was different than the day before. We (or I - as I can't speak entirely for Kim) always felt as though every situation was a temporary one, and that things were only going to get better. This isn't to say that things were bad - quite the opposite, things were great and they actually were getting better everyday.

We started out this long strange trip in the hospital. Three and a half days of bonding with our new son, having the assistance of nurses and caretakers, and the thought of going home with our baby consistently running through our head. That was my goal - get home and start truly enjoying parenthood. When we did get home, it was as expected - Great. Problem was we were back in the hospital before we had an opportunity to truly experience home life. So there I was again, being a parent, without the typical parental situation. Or so I thought.

While in the hospital for the second time, I again spent most of the time having visions of how things were going to be different when we got home - and that kept me going. Another three and a half days later - home for good. This time was even better than the first... Kim was on a true road to recovery, we had our parenting skills sharpened, and I was ready for parenthood.

Meanwhile, Kim had been doing fantastic. She had mastered breastfeeding and was emotionally sound - well, pretty much. Unfortunatley Gordie did not put on his weight as quickly as Doc S would have liked, and suggested/requested we 'top' Gord's feedings up with formula. As a result of Kim's infection and extended stay at the luxurius St. Joseph's, it was thought that perhaps her 'milk' was not in as best as it should. Whether that is true or Well you may as well told her "You suck as a mother, you big horrible failure".not, is too hard to say. What I can say, is that no matter who you are, after birth, you are going to have some very interesting emotions surface along with the anxiety of first time motherhood and the need to provide optimal care. From what I've heard, every mother already fears they are starving their baby. Combine that with a Doctor stating the baby is not gaining weight, and you need to ensure proper feedings, well you may as well have told her "You suck as a mother, you big horrible failure".

So, over the last few days, his feedings have become an all out milk mayhem frenzy, making sure he not only maximized the breast, but also ensuring formula feeding fullness. On a side note, and to only complicate the emotional issue, you would think we were feeding him the blood of a sacrificial virgin the way formula is considered by most. Also, bottles when mixed in with the breast do not help breastfeeding as it removes the need for Gord to 'suck' and makes it more difficult to ensure proper latch when returning to the breast.

This feeding obsession, in conjunction with our lack of sleep, Kim's slow recovery and her overwhelming sense to succeed at everything she does has made the situation difficult and made breastfeeding become increasingly more of a challenge. She consistently questions whether he is getting adequate nutrition - even though his weight as of Wednesday morning was back up just shy of his birth weight. I think she feels very overwhelmed, and naturally so - but unwarrented as she is doing an amazing job. The reality has hit that this is the way things are going to be for a while. There is no immediate light at the end of the tunnel regarding sleep, we are constantly going to be worrying about something when it comes to Gord, and we will never feel perfect in our parenting skills and habits. Now 8 hours after I began this postcard, (a night of little sleep, dirty diapers, feedings every 2 hours and a commitment to breastfeed irregardless the exhaustion that accompanies it) we do realize that as it may not be immediate, there is going to be a day when we have organized this chaos into something manageable. In the meantime, we are going to enjoy it the best we can because the true reality of the situation is this is exactly what we had hoped for.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Postcards from Gordon - Vol 2

Well, Gord is very flattered that his pictures are in such 'high demand'... so, you can find more here.

I have put the link to the photo album on the right... So I will update it regularly. The only down fall to this blogger program is it does not have a photo album (like msn spaces).

Postcards from Gordon... (For Auntie Tam)

... more photos here

Monday, December 12, 2005

Postcards from the first 10 days...

Postcards from Floyd

Home, home again... I like to be here when I can...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Postcards from ... Of Course, The Hospital

Holy crap, is there life outside the hospital??

Truthfully, I feel for Kim. At least I have the luxury of coming home, showering, sleeping in our bed, etc...but poor kim, has spent sooo much time in the hospital. To make it more difficult, she is up very 2 hours feeding Gord for at least 1 hour.

Yesterday (Saturday), being our second day BACK in the hospital was as long as could be expected. Kim had her antibiotic drip which is appearing to help. Unfortunately, Kim started getting pain in her right lung area, and the Doctors (and their incessant need to 'heal' people) wanted to run tests... Chest x-ray's, blood work, ECG's bla bla... it appears to be a muscle cramp!

Gord on the other hand... oh poor Gord, stuck in the hospital... is doing great.

He is just plugging along. His jaundice is doing ok, and he is feeding very well.

He has a new favourite hobby... peeing on his Gran (Sharon). Without fail, EVERY single time she changes his diaper he either pees on her or poops. Ha ha ha... that's my boy!

Speaking of Sharon, she is leaving today, after helping out a lot this past week. Dave and Tam came down today for a visit, and as it works out, can give Sharon a ride back to Barrie - as opposed to the bus.

My folks are on their way up, and my mom will be lending a hand this week. I have some time off which is definitely going to help out.

So that's that... I'm back to the hospital for the night...


Postcard To Gordon...Week 1

Dear Gordon,

You are now 1 week old, and each and every day you continue to amaze me. I had expected some change in my life following your arrival, but I had no idea what type of change to expect, or the extent to which it would take place. I received warning from family, friends and other literature that life was never going to be the same, however these ‘warnings’ usually took on a negative connotation – a “Be Prepared” theme. I was led to believe that I would be complaining these first few months. What no one prepared me for however was the overwhelming positives that I have experienced. So many positives in fact that I can not find one detriment to the addition you have made to my life.

Gord, you are a gift… and like most gifts, the best ones are those you do not expect. When it comes to my experience with you so far, I did not expect this. I hope that some day you will understand the joy I have by simply holding you in my arms for hours on end, staring into your eyes, watching your facial twitches, and stroking your forehead while you sleep. An even bigger surprise to me is the fun I have doing the ‘chores’ – your burping, your diaper changes, and the midnight singing necessary to calm you down when needed.

You may say to me that every father feels this way, but I would have to disagree. The majority of fathers I have listened to, tend to focus on the benefits that come many months down the road – and while their points are valid, they leave the impression that the first few months are vacant of any true excitement. When it comes to you and I Gord, the moments we have shared together are priceless and truly meaningful.

I have to thank you Gordon. I thank you for making me appreciate life. I do not want this to become another cliché, but I didn’t know what life was until you began yours. I have enjoyed my life up to this point, but I can honestly say it was missing something. I attempted to fill that void and wasted a lot of time. The things that kept me occupied for years are now insignificant fillers, and distant memories. Old habits have died off, and I am left with an appreciation for things I never thought you would have an impact on. I appreciate the 24 hours in a day – I no longer live my life waiting for 5pm. The clock is no longer an anchor for me – which is one of the more unexpected revelations I have had. T.V is a crutch I’ve had for years - I have no need for artificial stimulant when I can watch you grow before my very eyes…you are my ultimate entertainment.

You have, and will continue to make me a better person. You are always on my mind, and I am so proud of you. For as long as I can remember, even before I knew where babies came from, I wanted you. Now you are here Son, and it blows my mind.

“I” was only waiting for this moment to arise…

I love you Blackbird

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Postcards from a 'Professional Blogger"...

Hey, look at me... I have a 'subscription' option now...

If you would like to receive an email with updates etc, simply enter your email address and you will be emailed the new posts.

Not sure 'how' it works, just know it does... (If you encounter a problem, please let me know)

I'm curious to know who exactly (if anyone) reads the postcards... also I want to ensure I'm not a crazy person talking to myself!


Friday, December 09, 2005

Postcards from... the Hospital - Update

Leaving the hospital 3 days ago, never did I think I would be bringing Gordie back...

The day started with our scheduled Doctor's appointment. Having just been to the doctor's on Wednesday, (did I mention that earlier? I don't think i did... anyhow, kim had a horrible looking bruise develop on tuesday after we got home from the hospital, and to complicate things, she was getting MORE pain, as opposed to starting to feel better, so we had been asked to come into Doc S's office wednesday afternoon. Everything checked out ok, the bruise was harmless, kim was given an OK, and Gordie weighed in at 6lbs 7ounces.)... so yeah, having just been to the doctors, we thought it would be a regular check up for Gord. However, as kim was feeling worse than yesterday, and yesterday worse than wednesday, the appointment became more of 'diagnose kim'. She had developed a 'redness' that stretched from her lower abdomen to her belly button, which screamed infection. So... Doc S, with the friggen look of concern that scares the shit out of me, told us to get immediately to the hospital. She left the room momentarily. When returned, she informed us her 'favourite doc/OB' was on call, and she asked for a favour - admit kim immediately, and get us a private room. I guess, as protocol has it, we SHOULD have gone to emerg/urgent care, waited for several hours, only to be then admitted and stuck in a general ward (unless we requested semi-private or private - at which case we would have to pay the additional $240 per night). But, because we have the 'best ... doctor ... everrrr', we got a to bypass all that, and get a private room FOR FREE! mmmm.... milking the ohip teat!

So, as a result, we are able to have not only myself (or sharon) stay in the room, but also Gordie. We would have had to bring him up to the room every time he needed to feed had we been stuck in general ward... ugh!

Out of ALL the crap that we go through, we must have some really good Karma, because we end up with the best result out of the worst of all situations. Bite my tongue though, as we are not out of the woods yet. Kim was put on an antibiotic drip, IV, and Ibuprofen drip. They are not entirely positive that it is an infection, but if it is, the antibiotics should kick in by tomorrow (saturday). If it is not helping, they will look into a few other things via x ray, blood work etc.

So here we are, 1 week after arriving at the hospital for the first time, Kim's back in the hospital, I'm at home (cause I need to work tomorrow, and it made some sense that I get home for some sleep, as sharon wanted to be with kim - I will be doing the 'night shifts' from here on out as I am off work after tomorrow for the next week - less a day), and I miss my boy.

... i'm seriously considering heading back to the hospital tonight for a quick peek, hug and burp...

Postcards from... the Hospital

Well, quick note, we are back in the hospital... nothing to freak out about, but kim may have an infection... she's on an IV... again, nothing to freak out about.

We are at St. Joseph's room A308 - our phone is hooked up (apparently). We will be there for 3 days.

Update later...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Postcards from a proud papa...

Postcards from the camera...revealed

Lynds you got it!!!

As the 'winner' of this round, you get a "Postcards from London" T-shirt....

... ok not really.

Postcards from the Triangular Shaped Hill...

Last night was a good night... for me anyhow (if I can be so selfish). Got home from work and was able to spend some great quality time with Gordo. He was alert and interested in everything around him. He got to spend some time in the swing (thanks Burn's & Chris), and I couldn't stop staring at him, with his eyes wide open staring back.

On the topic of staring back at me, what a truly amazing experience it is. I'm fortunate that newborns by default look more like their fathers, cause when he makes eye contact with me, it's indescribable. The only way I can attempt to describe it is like an out of body experience. When those eyes pierce mine, I see myself as a baby, as though I'm suddenly my father looking down on me. Truly and utterly amazing! (I apologize to all the parents out there that already know this!)

We are learning the value of protection - diaper style. As all other parents know where I am coming from, you really need to watch out for flying poop and pee hosing! I've been fortunate enough to experience it twice. The first was in the hospital when I looked away momentarily to grab the diaper, when I couldn't help but notice Gordie peeing on his face!! ha ha... Gordie, you peed on your face buddie! He'll appreciate that story when he brings his first girlfriend home. The second time it happened I was more prepared. I had the tissue covering and it only got a little on his diaper shirt - still annoying because I had to strip him down and change him.

Now kim, on the other hand, has a little more interesting of a tale to tell... earlier i mentioned pee hosing... well kim got the 'flying poop'.

(A quick side note - It just occurred to me how excited I am to be talking about flying poop, and how this is now my life! INSANE!!!)

Back to kim's adventure... apparently the story goes, as I was at work, Kim and her mom were changing Gordie's junk in the trunk when he decided that his earlier 'movement' wasn't quite complete and wanted to see either:
a) how far poop can shoot,
b) how people react when poop flies everywhere,
c)how easy it is to remove poop from the couch, or
d) all of the above.

...My guess is d.

Nonetheless, as I was not there, I find it quite comical, and happy it happened, as it gave me a chance to say poop so many times. (Which I again revisit the oddity of my recent fascination with talking about poop). Again, I apologize to all the parents out there that already know this.

So, you may be asking: "triangular shaped hill?" ... well, first one to figure it out gets the honour of being godparents*.

So that's that. Gordie is doing great. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow, where hopefully we can find out his blood type - as kim has this weird obsession with finding this out. It must be a genetics thing. As I am BO, and Kim is AO, Gord in theory can be anything... any guesses?

As I write most of these from work, I don't have the opportunity to attach pics... perhaps I will add some when I get home - while sharon makes me dinner** - ha ha... don't tell her I said that...

Cheers for now.

* Some conditions^ may apply

^by conditions, I mean Kim has to approve and if it's not the people we have pre-selected, then sorry - but at least you won the 'triangular shaped hill' contest

** for the record - I am completely kidding - I am not expecting sharon to be my 'slave' as some may refer to it and I am in no way trying to take advantage of her helpfulness... She is doing a great job helping out, and kim and I are grateful for her and the things she has done to make this transition as easy as it has been

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Postcards from Work

Well, I went back to work today. A little earlier than expected, but as crazy as it sounds, I will be able to spend more quality time with Gordie this way. With the mum-in-law helping out, there is no need for me to be around during the day.

This way:

  • I can get a decent sleep - we take 'shifts'
  • Stay out of 'Gran's' way (and she can spend quality time with Gord, herself)
  • I get paid (a biggie)
  • Laundry, etc gets done without me feeling guilty someone else is doing it (see point #2)
  • I have alone time with the boy - again, the shift thing
  • I can take more time off later - as I was expecting to take a total of 5 days off, and can now take them at a later date
  • It is weird being at work, knowing I have a son sitting at home...I get to say things like, "hey, I have a son"... and, "Yeah, Gord, my son, he's with his mom right now" and my favourite - "Sorry, can't work late tonight, I have to pick up my son"... that last one is a bit of a lie, because I don't have to pick him up per se, but the parts about not being able to/wanting to work late and having a son is accurate.

    Speaking of how much I hate my employer... Well, I was thinking it anyhow ... I was informally informed several months back that our 'benefits package' (I use the term loosely) covers semi private rooms in the hospital, at a cost of $220 per night, and you only have to pay the difference for a private room (additional $20) - which is great... if it was true. Apparently, (more matter of factly actually) our fantastic 'BENEFITS' package doesn't cover semi-private, but rather GENERAL WARD. Um... ... I ah think ... yeah... mmm - OHIP?!!? So basically, you don't actually have to be employed at this company to take advantage of this amazing 'benefit package'. GENERAL WARD IS COVERED BY OHIP YOU STUPID CHEAP M*THER F#CKERS! At least have the balls to say 'we don't offer any benefit coverage'... but no, they actually have the audacity to say (and I quote directly from the email I received) -

    "Hi Tracy,
    As I"m not sure who you're referring to, I'm sending you the response and you can forward it to the employee.
    Our group plan covers Ward room in a hospital only. If the employee wishes to use a semi-private room, he will have to pay for it."

    Yeah, this is the same company that:

  • changed our compensation plan and didn't tell us about it until 2 weeks after it had taken affect
  • Removed the bonus plan, and lowered our commission rate - calling it an 'incentive compensation plan'
  • Didn't pay us for 2 months and again, didn't tell us there would be a 'hiccup' until after we checked our bank account for our pay
  • Overpaid me (unknowing to me - which I agree, I owed the money back), but decided to take the entire amount (>$700) off my next paycheck without telling me. I again found out when I checked my bank account (from which I understand is not only unethical, but a little illegal, as they are supposed to work out a payment plan - or at least INFORM you). Oh, and the timing was just perfect - the day my wife went into labour and I racked up >$1000 in hospital charges which I was under the impression was covered by the company - which I again found out AFTER the fact (ie today) was not the case.
  • Offered an incentive in september, which I successfully earned, and have been waiting for and asking for since (and still have not received the $200 Petro gas card). Moreover, the VP who needs to own up to it, has down right LIED on more than one occasion that the cards are coming. He actually used the excuse - " I sent it to the wrong address" - Dumbass! (Update - I hear the cards are in the building - but get this, for $100 - he claims he forgot the amount
  • I know everyone hates their job/employer, but really, how much shit can one be force fed. Oh, and I forgot this one - they CONSTANTLY remind us that we may all be out of jobs tomorrow cause this location is on the brink of closing... mmm job security... they got that management tactic from the american government I can only assume - 'fear motivates!'. I could go on forever . . .

    Anyhow, I should go, I can't work late, I have to go pick up my son...

    Postcards from Birthdayville - Also Belated

    A very Happy (Belated) Birthday to this sis-in-law!!!

    I hope you can accept our excuse Lynds!!!

    Happy Happy 23rd Birthday Birthday!!

    Postcards from the Oven - Belated

    If this is what they do to 'healthy' babies, my heart truly goes out to all parents who have or had sick kids...

    Gordie, was showing signs of jaundice, as most babies do, and after some blood work, it was decided he would receive phototherapy.

    For anyone not familiar, one cause of jaundice is bruising, and Gordie's testes were definitely bruised. One method for recovery is increased Vitamin D from hence the 'oven'.

    Around 2:30 Monday afternoon, they wheeled 'er in, and locked lil' Gordie in. At least he got a cool pair of shades out of it.

    The next morning, Doc S arrived, and was quite upset that he was put under. Apparently, she had specifically ordered that he 'NOT' be put under, and his levels were completely acceptable. She stuck it to the nurse asking her 'Do you know why only cesarean babies get put under phototherapy?' ... thinking it was a medical quiz, the nurse gave up, to which S replied "Because they're still in the hospital after 3 days" (when their blood work shows signs of jaundice) ... Burn!

    Anyhow, all was well, and we were discharged... just another postcard in the memory book.

    Tuesday, December 06, 2005

    Postcards from... ... HOME!!!


    We are finally home with our little Gordie.

    Lot's to do, so this postcard is brief, but there will be a belated "Postcard from the Oven" soon...

    Monday, December 05, 2005

    Postcards from the delivery room...

    (Like all other postcards in the non virtual world – this one arrives well after the fact and serves more to the purpose of ‘rubbing it in’ to all those who weren’t there to experience the trip first hand!)

    …Boy, did I have the right to be freaked out.

    Where to start… well, by 11pm, the contractions progressed quickly and family turned into geese at winter and began migrating south. We had to deny our denial, load up the car and make way to the hospital, truly believing we would be back home embarrassed and still pregnant 1 hour later.

    The nasty weather we were having earlier decided to get even worse, and the trip which should have taken 4 minutes, lasted songs 7 through 11 on the Beatles White Album – “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, and “Blackbird” will never sound the same – something about the irony of Paul narrating “you were only waiting for this moment to arise”...eternal goose bumps.

    Quick note: pre-registration is available for a reason, and I’m quite happy we decided to take advantage of it several weeks prior.

    Fate: Episode 1 – Dr. Schaefer, who would have taken 30-50 minutes to arrive at the hospital if called in the middle of the night, finished delivering another baby down the hall moments earlier.

    We were escorted to a triage room, where Doc Schaef did her exam and ruled it was the real deal. By then, we didn’t need the exam to tell us that, as the contractions were ‘unbearable’ and the time between them was non-existent. Kim’s only relief was our labour waltz, and before we knew it we were brought to our ‘birthing room’.

    Quick note 2: Kim was absolutely amazing in her coping with the pain and discomfort that most women are only too anxious to relieve through the use of epidurals and other drugs. Note 2b – this is not to offend those who I appear to be offending – but to score some extra points with the wifey, and be clear in my utter admiration for her courage and incessant strength.

    Now at 8 cm (from 3 cm only 1 hour earlier), Kim in excruciating pain, and the water only moments away from being broke, I was oblivious to the subsequent events which will forever haunt me – at the risk of sounding dramatic.

    Fate: Episode 2 – Kim’s gestational sac, which was ‘sweeped’ hours earlier, and on the verge of breaking at any moment, held off for the Doctor and Nurse to manually get things officially started.

    I was busy distracting Kim with talk of the imminent first time meeting with our baby when we (or more so Kim) were told to prepare for the experience of the water breaking. What ‘I’ wasn’t prepared for was the look of absolute fear that fell upon the Doctor’s face immediately following…And this is the part that will perpetually replay itself in my mind…Dr. Schaefer interrupted my pep talk with “Listen Kim, the baby is BREECH and we need to do a section…”

    Authors Note: Following my documenting the last line, I needed to take a break, breather, and a look at my perfect and sleeping son to get back to reality after the wave of emotions that arise every time I hear those fretful words in my mind.

    With what I like to believe was the most unselfish act of my lifetime, I immediately moved into ‘support Kim’ mode, and made sure she understood exactly what was about to take place, and that she began dealing with the fact that this baby was not coming as expected.

    To make my support-job more difficult (and self-traumatizing), Dr. Schaefer informed us that Kim was going to be put under, AND there was a cord present.

    On one hand, the last thing you want to see is health practitioner’s move into panic mode when informed of the status of your wife and unborn child – but on the other hand, that’s exactly what you want to see and expect nothing less when the situation calls for it.

    I continued my attempts at calming Kim while nurse after nurse was informed of the ‘breech with cord’ status and I watched them scurry about. Dr. Schaefer was quick and to the point when informing us that our child’s bottom was hanging out, and needed to be manually blocked from falling out. She later described the experience as a first, as she watched Kim’s cervix dilate the last 2 inches before her eyes (and with her hand palm deep holding back a very aggressive baby arrival).

    Kim, not entirely sure herself, reminded the room that her dad’s side of the family has a resistance/reaction to anaesthesia – which only added to the panic, as now more Doctors and specialists were called onto the scene.

    Being in a birthing room, they were not equipped to handle a ‘triple threat’ delivery, and Kim needed to be rushed to an operating room. Meanwhile, Dr. Schaefer’s hand was going nowhere, and needed to move entirely on the bed as they wheeled her, my wife and child urgently through the hospital halls, while I became an apparition and never felt so helpless in my life.

    Authors Note 2: Another breather needed…

    As we neared the operating room, I was informed I would have to wait outside while they prepped Kim. What I remember clear as day and will never forget (though I try), was the door closing behind Kim, and not having the opportunity to say “I love you” for what I felt could be the last opportunity I ever had.

    Authors Note 3: I’ll take advantage of this time to not only take another breather, but to make note that my need for ‘breather’s etc’ is not a result of my recounting the ‘what if’s’ that could have happened. But, what I have come to realize as the root of these emotional/mental breakdowns is that in the moment, I was unwilling to fully undergo the emotional response deemed necessary for the situation – In short, I repressed EVERYTHING in an effort to protect Kim (which I again will note as my most unselfish act). Even shorter – I was in shock!

    I was asked to put on a set of scrubs, hair net contraption and surgery mask. I proceeded to pace the hallways which of course felt like eternity – At which point I went over all the ‘what if’s’ and worse case scenario’s, and realized I was beginning to experience the horrible and eerie premonition I had only 3 weeks prior. And I’m not talking about your typical pre-father jitters – I had a ‘premonition’.

    I asked every nurse/doctor that came out of the room for an update, but got little relief – only that the babies vitals were stable – which I guess provided the relief to refrain from passing out entirely.

    In an effort to show that I am not trying to be overdramatic, I’ll share a conversation I witnessed, helplessly between 2 nurses who anxiously arrived – Nurse 1: “Do you know what the patient situation is?” Nurse 2: “No, I was just paged and told to hurry up and scrub in…”. Ok, maybe I am being dramatic, but can you blame me?

    Fate: Episode 3 – As a result of Kim not knowing for certain if her fathers affliction was passed along to her, called for an alternative to being ‘put under’. She was administered a spinal/epidural, and thus given the opportunity to be awake for the birth of our child – and hear the “I love you”, I so longed to tell her.

    Note of Irony – Prior to the unexpected situation, I was very apprehensive and silently opposed to Kim receiving an epidural. Too many ‘what if’s’ I suppose…

    I was finally asked to enter the room. The ‘blinder’ sheet was up, Dr. Schaefer still in place, and I sat down beside Kim. I was told that I would be informed of the baby’s extraction, and that I could peek over the sheet. I talked with Kim about the situation, and was relieved to hear that she was not at all concerned with the process, only the outcome – as was I.

    At 12:56am, Saturday December 3 I heard “Ok, Steve, Steve Ok Steve hurry…” And to my absolute delight saw what looked to be a baby hanging out to dry. Hung by the ankles, covered in the white slimy vernix, was my child, genderly identifiable by his massively swollen testicles staring back at me. His testicles, swollen and dark purple where pressed up against Dr. Schaefer’s hand the entire time, and warranted the bruises which are still present days later.

    I brought my attention back to Kim and asked her if she wanted to know ‘what’ we had…then permissibly informed her she had a son. We wept like schoolgirls – ok, well, that part is an exaggeration. We still had yet to hear any cries, but were assured that he was fine. They brought him in a side room, where they did their thing. I was informed I could not follow him, and we waited patiently to meet him. Still no cries, but I was happy to see that the nurses in the back room were laughing – which I interpreted as ‘everything’s all right’. I caught sight of one of the nurses doing an impression – flailing and stating “his leg’s all like bwaaa…”

    The moment finally arrived, we were introduced to our son, who was presented to Kim and I by Dr. Schaefer (who btw looked genuinely and entirely ecstatic to be doing so). He lay between us, dividing his attention equally between us both. All the while, the Doctors had begun stitching up the hole they made in my wife. I couldn’t resist the temptation to sneak a peek – I saw Kim’s guts!!!

    Kim had no choice but to stay put, while I was able to follow Dr. Schaefer and the yet to be named child. We proceeded to the recovery room where he weighed in at 6 lbs, 13.6 ounces. She put some gunk in his eyes (to prevent infection) and poked him in the thigh with his first needle. After some quality father son time, ‘Mom’ was wheeled in and broke up the party.

    Shortly after, in a scene straight out of The Lion King, I stepped forward, held him high, presented him to the world and announced “From this day forward, he will be known as… ‘The Gordon!’” Ok, another exaggeration – and, there’s no ‘definitive article’. The reality of it was we had a hard time nailing it down. I think we were afraid of making such a permanent and un-revocable decision. We tried a few names on for size, but nothing stuck like Gordo.

    So, to make a long story short, Kim got knocked up, gave up alcohol and coffee, we painted a room green, and we had a beautiful and healthy baby boy, who at this very moment is sucking on my wife’s boob.

    The End.

    Friday, December 02, 2005

    Postcards from ...Pre-labour??

    Ok, I'm backed being freaked out...

    Kim started having'soft' contractions around 8:30 tonight. They seem to last about 5 minutes on average - but getting more intense... to the point where they are just short of 'double over pain'. Not sure if it warrents a full all out phone blitz, but we'll keep monitoring them.

    Terry is here. She started keeping track of the contractions - (while I ran around the house doing some last minute tidying/organizing/packing) ...

    I'm kinda freaking out!

    Hmm...we need to figure out a plan of what to do if this goes through...

    UPDATE... from the cervix

    Well I'm not as freaked out anymore... partly cause I've come to realize that this kid is coming whether we are prepared or not... and partly because Kim's condition has settled down. So when the Dr. called this afternoon, the bleeding had stopped.

    On one hand, I am disappointed that I don't get to meet my little poop machine, but realistically, it would not have been an ideal delivery situation. So in all, I'm glad that nature is allowed to take its course. It's not like we have to wait 9 more months right?!.

    ...but I wouldn't be surprised if the water breaks tonight!

    Keep your fingers crossed.

    Postcards from the cervix...

    Well, I'm freaking out!!!

    We had our DR appt this morning - a routine check up - but we knew that we were going to have the 'sweeping' thing done. Ya know, we read that it decreases the risk of an overdue pregnancy, and that some women actually go into labour that day as a result, but we figured that because we are only 37 weeks, it wouldn't do much today.

    Nonetheless, the Doc did her thing, said Kim was 2 cm (she could fit in TWO fingers, and easily feel the babies head). Now kim, and that crazy cervix of hers started bleeding - which we expected. What we didn't expect was that the DR would be more freaked out than we would be.

    I think I should also mention that my nerves are a little uneasy today because it is the worse weather we have had this season - let's just say that by the time i finished brushing the back of the car, i needed to do the front again...

    So back to the Dr Appt... as we were walking out of the exam room, after the Dr left, she stopped us and informed kim that she would be checking up on her later because she was "freaked out". Apparently most women don't bleed as a result of the exam - but as expected with kim's cervix, it was no surprise. She (the Dr.) then continued to state that if she is still bleeding this afternoon, she may tell us to go to the hospital (and this is where the naive father-to-be-syndrome kicks in, and I think that we are going to the hospital to have it looked at - and ONLY to have it looked at) ... but no, she states "go to the hospital and have that baby!" - 'WHAT?' 'We're having a baby!!??!!! - But but but... huh?...

    Now, I'll probably be reading this in 4 weeks (with no baby yet) and shaking my head thinking how crazy I was to think this, but as a first timer, I think i deserve some slack.

    So I convinced kim to go home instead of work - can you believe her??? She was actually trying to convince me that she HAD to go to work - what a freak. I swear, she is going to be running pcr's while pushing.

    So that's that... I'm at work (cause i used up all my holidays and sick days - boo!), waiting...

    Thursday, December 01, 2005

    Postcards from the camera...

    Do you remember the kids magazine 'Highlights'? Well I do (and so does kim,...but she thinks it's 'Owl' ... she is soooo wrong!).

    Anyhow, my favorite part was always the 'macro' shots and you had to try to figure out what the item/picture is. Well, that's the idea here. (I have to give credit to kimmy for this one).

    I think it's WAY obvious, but kim wants me to cut some slack and make it 'easy'.

    Postcards from the rumor mill...

    For the record... We are NOT rushing to the hospital for an emergency yet pre-scheduled delivery because the doctors screwed up the date and kim is actually 41 weeks pregnant and dropped 3 weeks ago... it needed to be said... for the record... hee hee

    What we are ACTUALLY doing on our Friday am appointment is 'sweeping the membranes' ... does it work? Egh, who knows. I guess we'll find out... but you can check this out for yourselves.

    Postcards from Late Pregnancy

    Well, still no kid!

    We are officially TERM now. But, I have a feeling that doesn't mean much. To be honest, a small part of me wants this pregnancy over so I stop getting all the late pregnancy 'advice' and inquiries... "so how's kim?" "...she must be big now..." "Is she aching?" "Make sure you..." BLA BLA BLA!!!

    I know they mean well, but UGH... (And for the record, family don't count in this rant).

    Other than that - I think we are doing fine. Kim is doing so great - which is prob why the questions/suggestions are so frustrating, because there is very little complaints from kim. Really, I'm complaining more than she is...with the 'snoring' and all.

    I had on overwhelming 'nesting' feeling this morning, and we really need to get the house in order. The hutch, the deep freeze, the cooking, the clutter, etc etc ... this weekend shall be FUN!

    Well, I have procrastinated enough, and I need to get to work - as I work late today. Perhaps some more will come later...