Postcards From THE Homeowner...
Ok, i've come to terms with a few personal and physical limitations over the last few years... i'll never be able to see the top of my fridge, I'm fine with that (at least I've mastered the top of the counter!)... I'll never be a singer in a band, I'll stick with butchering nursery rhymes (Gord doesn't judge!)... And i'll never have a really cool 'high top' (While I would love to say I came to terms with that one in '92, I still give myself a 'fro' before settling on the day's doo).
...but one thing that has plagued me for years, has been my boyish good looks - well, more particularly, the 'boyish' part. Ever since I was about 8, I haven't looked my age. As time goes on, the gap between my actual age, and apparent age has grown bigger. When I was in grade 9, everyone thought I was a 'visiting' elementary school kid. This became much more of an issue when I was approaching 19. While most of my peers had been out to the 'bars' with either fake id, or utilizing their 'new' facial hair, I had not seen the inside of a bar until my official 19th B-day.
Lately however, as I approach the big '3-0', I have been taking great appreciation in the fact that I barely look 19. A few of the regular 'disbelievers' are those I work with who question the fact that I'm "old enough to be married", then drop their jaws when I tell them I have a son. The more obvious is the beer/liquor stores - the last time I was there, the women was in disbelief as I tried explaining the "89" she saw on my license was actually a "79" - she kept telling me I was only 17!
The most memorable, and by far, most enjoyable incidents have to do with the house. I knew before moving in that the 'door-to-door' canvassers were going to be fun - they haven't let me down.
The bar was set pretty high by the first visitor. We had only been in the house a couple weeks, when at dinner, a knock at the door. Kim must have beat me on the rock-paper-scissors, because she went to the door.
Kim (Opening the door to a 'youthful' looking fella): 'Hi There'
Fella: (Confused)... are you the.... mom?
Me in the kitchen: "Ha ha ha!!!"
Kim: Well, I'm not a 'mom' but I own the house...
Since then, we have had a few great ones with, "Are your parents home?" probably winning with most appearances.
Last night, while Kim and I playing cards with my folks, and Gord in bed, we get a ring of the bell. Kim, being the 'girl' was too afraid to answer the door in the 'dusk', so I was happy to get it, knowing full well I was going to confuse the poor knocker.
I opened the door to a middle aged ruffian with a large selection of art work to promote.
Ruffian: (Again very confused - even using sign language to try and figure this situation out) Are you the (tilting of the head)... homeowner?
Homeowner: Yup!
(Well, so far, pretty innocent - nothing I haven't encountered before)
Ruffian: Oh, ok... (Getting more confused, and more hands gestures and crooked lips)... really?
Homeowner: Yup!!
Ruffian: (His MIND was just blown!) ARE YOU SURE??
Homeowner: Yup! That's what the mortgage says.
The ruffian then, in all his disbelief, tried to promote his artwork. (On a side note, having a kid is awesome for getting out of unwanted sales pitches/telemarketers/etc whether it's the truth, or simply as an excuse). I dropped the "I'm just putting my kid down to bed, so I really don't have any time right now..."
I watched as he literally walked down my driveway with his head shaking...
posted by London Postmaster @ 9:44 a.m.
3 comments
3 Comments:
hahaha, that was just awesome to read for I can totally, 100% agree with you and understand exactly where you are coming from. Even though I am 'only 24', I often get asked what I am going to take once I finish highschool... very cute folks. I have learned to accept this as a great compliment ever since I realized that time goes WAY too fast and to be considered MUCH younger than what I am is definately a good thing! I hope that this trend will continue late into my 80's and that Dan will always get strange looks for dating such a young girl! lol Oh boy it's funny when that happens, his brother Anthony even asked to see my license 3 yeras ago cause he didn't believe my age, hahaha!
Ahh...Steve in Grade 9.
It may be a little known fact, but I knew Steve before he met/married/despoiled my sister. Sat behind him in homeroom. I often had to shake him down for money. Not because I was mean, but because we collected for charity...or something. Alms for the poor? No...that was in Robin Hood. I forget what we called it, but it sounded noble.
Common conversation overheard in Mr. Goddard/Mr. Russell's homeroom:
Student 1: [hooking finger over his shoulder] What's with the kid?
Student 2: [shrugs] I dunno.
Student 3: [shaking head] This school is going to hell....
;)
Just kidding, Steve-o. Look on the brightside....you'll probably get to hang out at concerts with Gordie when he's of age and not stand out (too much).
And you should totally chase the high top dream......I bet it would look sweet....
Cheers.
Steve I gotta tell you that when I showed pics of your family to friends in Teacher's College, I often heard "WOW - they're awfully young to have children!" Nobody ever believed me that you were both my age, married, with a house.
I found out later that they all thought I was 22.
ps. if it makes you feel any better - you definitely look older than you did during high school :)
Post a Comment
<< Home