Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Postcards from Plaster, Poop & Parenthood...

It's nice. 2 nights in a row, and it's 8pm and we're able to sit down and enjoy the evening. Mind you there is that little voice/cry in the back of our heads that reminds us it can happen at any moment - the boy could stir... but that aside, we are enjoying the moment.

He is pretty solid in his routine and ability to distinguish night from day. He goes down any time between 7 and 9 after a bath and final feed - and should be down for at least 5 (perhaps 6) hours.

Tonight we finally got around to using the memory mold kim got at the baby shower from her aunt and cousin. The idea is to imprint a part of Gord (foot, hand, etc) so we can look back at it year after year and watch as it gets smaller and smaller... that's the 'idea'. The reality however is that we will have a glob of hardened goo to remind us that no matter how many times we read the instructions, parenting does not always go smoothly.

After that, in to the bath. Having gone right from the plaster disaster, we didn't clean off his butt following the full strip, so yeah, he ended up taking a bath while dodging floating bum crumbs. Nothing we couldn't handle. It was just one of those nights - you know the kind, when behaviour becomes so natural and comfortable, nothing can phase you. Well, at least I like to think it is that, and not laziness.

Anyhow... I've been meaning to mention this. Kim finally received her validation that she is now a mom... for some reason she just needed this to feel complete, she has been trying and trying for this one and only moment, week after week, hoping, praying, struggling with factors that were out of her control, and finally, she got it... egh, everyone has their thing - while mine was a touching moment, one that will last a lifetime, an everlasting bond from an unexpected moment shared between father and son, kim's was, on the other hand... er, a parking space...

Monday, February 27, 2006

Postcards From Play Time...

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Postcard From The Mid Dinner Burp...

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Postcards From The After Dinner Burp...

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Postcards from Bed Time...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Postcards from someone else's camera...

This is awesome!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Postcards from the Mall...

Well let me start of by debunking the myth... 'Chicks' don't flock towards you and crowd around when your alone with your baby. Let me though clarify the myth... Gord's not so much a 'chick magnet' as he is an 'old lady magnet' (and fellow bald old men who see an opportunity to make a comparison between their chrome-domes).

In case you hadn't figured it out, I took Gord to the mall today. Left 'mom' at home and the boys went out looking for trouble... and by trouble I mean 1) a noisy crowded environment where the crying and screaming of a child (if brought on) could be drowned out by the background noise, and at best 2) where the motion of the stroller and cozy confines of the car seat would keep baby asleep so we would not need to take advantage of #1.

Actually, Gord was great. He was awake most of the time, just looking around and being real cute. I thought I would be nice, and gave him an advance on his first 3 years of allowance - he bought himself some clothes, and had enough left over to by his dear old dad a few cd's... how sweet he is.

Ok, now that I'm a dad, I can rant about things that I never would have been able to before. In all reality, I probably did this myself when I was younger, but now I'm with child, so things have changed. But it really bothers me when people (and not just teenagers) who are perfectly able to walk, take up the elevator and people like us with strollers have to wait or squeeze so they can ride ONE FRIGGEN FLOOR... TAKE THE F*&KING STAIRS - actually it's not even stairs... it's a f*cking escalator you lazy bastards - (it's like that becel commercial where the two people are freaking out because they get stuck on the escalator in a power outage).

Being over that now and moving on, it is kind of funny how I'm now part of this elite club. I remember my Uncle Rick, when he used to ride a Harley, he would talk about this 'bond' among bikers - see someone else with a helmet, and you just nod or say 'hey'. Well it was like that today at the mall. I'm sure Kim and all you other parents out there already know about this, but no one told me. Being the first time out in public alone with the boy, it was quite neat. I'd come across other parents, and we would acknowledge each other, be courteous etc - an allegorical 'wink' both knowing exactly what each of us have gone through - the flying poop, the umpteen late night wakings, the living rooms cluttered with baby stuff, the spit ups, and all the other smells, sounds and sights that come with parenthood and having a little baby. We have gone through a right of passage. "We are 'Parent', Hear Us Yawn".

So now we're home, and he's mamma's boy again... and I get to look forward to another night on call - that is, unless Gord and I can think of another way to 'sour' the milk... mwa ha ha.


Postcards From The Connoisseur...

While some may prefer to stick with wine, I apparently have shifted towards a more 'natural' delicacy... that being Breast Milk.

Tonight was our typical Friday night... we put the boy down and Par-tayed... woo hoo!!! Party! Being friday and all, we thought we'd get a little crazy, and stay up that extra half hour until 9:30 and watched 'Dodgeball' - the whole thing... Party!!! (Quite literally actually - Dave, kim wants me to ask you if you have ever watched right to the end of the credits??)

Being the weekend and all, I was on call for the Boy. He fussed at 11:58ish - nothing a little 'twinkle twinkle' wouldn't fix. However come 1:30 he had enough of this not eating business and let us know he was hungry as bluntly and obnoxiously as he could.

There is no real middle ground with Gord. It's either "I'm asleep, content, and everything is A-OK," or it's "Holy crap my world is crashing down on me - FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME, OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FEED ME WHY ARE YOU NOT FEEDING ME". Not even the soother could fool this kid tonight. I had him in the play pen while I heated up the pot of water to warm the bottle... and the boy - screaming. I also had to pee - almost had to cut it off mid stream a couple times as the boy graduated from screaming to all out wailing coughing and cahacking. To be quite honest, I was surprised 'the boss' didn't show up.

The screaming was so loud I could see it. Anyhow, now that the bottle was warming, I tried the usual sample to see if we were ready to go - as of course Gord was quite ready. Well, this is where my new found 'expertise' kicks in. Something just ain't right. Of course that warrants another sample, and another cringed nose reaction.

Hmm... I found myself in a pickle. Kim was upstairs sleeping (or trying to I'm sure) enjoying her 'night off', the screaming caterpillar was making his opinion known, and I'm standing there straight out of a 'Saturday Night Live' skit repeatedly subjecting myself to this apparently rancid milk unable to control myself like a moth to a flame.

I end up calling Kim down for her opinion. Now picture if you can, the two of us, slamming back samples of milk, discussing it's character, texture and not so subtle 'nuances'... all the while Gord is wondering what the Hell is taking so long.

We came to the conclusion that we wouldn't involve Gord in our 'Milk Tour' and we had him eat right off the 'vine'.

I for some friggen reason found myself 10 minutes later back downstairs tasting that blasted milk again - screaming out loud in validation - "Ugh that's sour milk!!"


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Postcards from Oz...

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. . .

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Postcards from a Retracted Postcard Title...

Well, I had to change the title of an earlier post to 'home' of gord...

If someone comes to this site via a search engine, I will have the ability to see what the search term was... (I can't see WHO is at this site, just the search engine query). It doesn't happen very much, but every so often I will have a random visitor from a search engine.

Well, today I noticed someone from Switzerland came across the site by searching "H0use of G0rd" - the earlier Postcard.

Well, I was curious as to why someone would search that, so I did the same... I was quite surprised to see the resulting page - the True H0use 0F G0Rd.

Ha ha... needless to say, I don't necessarily want people searching for that site to stumble across our little Gordon...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...


Postcards from the 'Dixie Cups'...

Our good friend Laura surprised us (and her entire family) last week by announcing not only an engagement, but a wedding...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Postcards from Valentines Day... New Parent Style

Well, as a result of several factors - 1 being I was sick, the other being our 'babysitter' bailed due to poor driving conditions, we had postponed valentines day by 1 week... which made V-Day today!!

Backing the day up, I went to Wilfred Laurier to make some 'calls' in the morning... after being sick last week, and not getting out to campus much last week (I hope my bosses don't come across this site), I was not too motivated to do so this week - but I got out there in the best mind frame possible, all jazzed up ready to go, determined to knock on every door I came across... when I got to campus, I couldn't help but notice the tumble weeds... I have to walk across the campus to get to the buildings I need to be at, and I thought things seemed a little strange... when I got into the building, and in hindsight, I was surprised how many other scenarios rang through my head before the possibility emerged that it was 'reading/slack' week (i'm not going to lie, the movie '28 day's later' came to mind).... and after I thought about spring break, it was momentarily still only a possibility... anyhow, after being there for some time, I was able to make some headway as there were still a number of profs around...

I got home mid afternoon to see my Gordo awake and alert - playing with Grandma... aka the babysitter. She braved the roads yesterday and made it down without incident... which meant, we could have the valentines 'date' we were planning.

I Q'd some steaks and pork wrapped in more pork and we made use of the extra table in the downstairs rec-room in front of the fireplace... we had wine, food, more wine, dessert, I had more wine, (kim more dessert - ha just kidding - though I bet she wanted some hmm), and just chilled out in front of the fire... it was friggen awesome. We haven't had a chance to just relax like that in a long time. Well, disclaiming clarification - 'WE' haven't had a chance... I've done my fair share or 'chillin and relaxing' which I'm sure Kim would be more than happy to attest to (ie- san diego, windsor, friday night, etc...), but the collective 'we' have not had the chance to fully enjoy time. Even when we went out for dinner last month, there was a nagging urge to come home and 'parent'. But tonight, with my mom around (and the bottled milk to feed him), we were able to just relax.

Gord was great. He just hung out in his play pen most of the night. Now we're all in bed, and Gord is snoring... that kid makes soooo much noise when he sleeps - so many grunts, cahacks, snorts, squirts and 'etc etc'... he is still waking up at least once or twice between 10pm and 7am.

Kim has been trying to keep track of his sleeping habits... she started an excel spreadsheet with colour codes representing feeds, and sleep to try and determine any pattern (kinda the same concept as the one I set up for her the first week we brought Gord home, that was disregarded and forgot about, never to be used, like the countless other spreadsheets I've created to keep track of things for her during pregnancy and of late (like the food guide/nutrition, the gestational diabetes glucose intake, antibiotic/pain medication schedule, diaper change quantity/feed frequency, etc etc - but who's bitter? Not me !!).

Anyhow, it is a smart spreadsheet - with all the days side by side, and time on the y-axis, blocks of black, white and green allow patterns to emerge and start displaying Gord's daily rhythm... no real insight as of yet... except, he sync's up PERFECTLY with Pink Floyds 'Dark Side of the Moon'... freaky man...freaky...


Sunday, February 19, 2006

Postcards from 'The List'...

Well, it only took 3 weeks, but I finally finished my 101 in 1001 list...

And so... I figured, this site is more focused on Gord, and the local happenings, so I decided to put up another site that will follow my attempt at completing all 101 things (and a few other observations that don't exactly fit the theme here).

So, if you feel inclined, you can check out 'The List' here.

Now, the fun begins... I have until November 17, 2008!


Saturday, February 18, 2006

Postcards from the "HOME" of Gord...

Ugh, i've become one of them ... I haven't made a post in way too long. There goes my career goal of becoming a professional blogger - oh well. I think I have an excuse. Actually, that's not true, if anything I've had more time to write this week... I was quite sick. Well, again, that's not entirely true. Yes, I was sick, but my body couldn't exactly make up it's mind if it wanted to fully commit to the whole ordeal.
I started feeling icky last weekend, but overcame it. Then Monday night it returned, and by Tuesday I was in bed off and on. Just enough to stay home and work, but not well enough to actually accomplish anything, but most importantly, sick enough to get the much appreciated sympathy treatment from Kim.
Conveniently, I felt much better at around 5:30 - 6 last night... just in time to accept an invitation to go out for a 'beverage' with some ex-coworkers (I guess that would make them friends ?? - most guy's find women and/or laundry a mystery... I find 'friendship' a fascinating yet mystifying ordeal - probably because I spent too much time trying to figure out the first mentionable wonder...)
Anyhow, not a late night, I was home in time to punch the clock for my midnight shift.
And on that note... boy, 'the boss' was not too impressed when she found out that the 1am feeding was farther from a feeding, and closer to a sleep-walking-nipple-lick... the boy only ate 1 of the 5 ounces that was so preciously and thoughtfully prepared for him before he conked out, not to be woken under any circumstance. Well, again me with my lies... that circumstance was several hours later when he woke wanting to eat... this time from the source. (I can't help but smile and let out a little girlish giggle as I write this, thinking about how much that sucks for kim. It's like me and the boy are in cahoots with the whole thing... It's like he knows he'll have leverage when he is a teenager and I catch him stealing my beer - "But dad, remember when I would let you off the hook on the weekends... egh, egh???")
The last few nights he has been waking too much during the night, so last night we tried putting him back to sleep as opposed to feeding him whenever he wakes and snaps his figurative fingers. I obviously didn't try hard enough at 1am, but Kim (OF COURSE) was successful at her attempt to put him back down several times before the official feed at 6ish. Which goes to show, the kid is a restless sleeper - he went 9 hours with only 1 ounce of jugger juice and a few belly rubs... So, I can foresee a new 'daddy-duty' resulting if feeding is not the reason he wakes up...
While we're on the topic of 'the kid'... holy friggen crap is he ever f&*king cute. I don't want to get all 'crazy obsessive dad' but, I love this little guy. This week he has really started playing, reaching, smiling and laughing. I thought I was having fun before, well, that was watching paint dry compared to amusement park fun filled thrills this kid is giving me now. He lies there, usually on the change pad (on the play-pen) before/after a feed/diaper change and we just play for as long as he will tolerate (which is a good long while considering he is often lying in his own waste products). But we just play. I have my routine, which he was thankfully picked up on... I have my 'Where's the baby'.... the 'put up your dukes (which he is quite good at) .... and the 'Ugh, Ugh, Ugh.... zerbert', his personal favourite - this one gets me the big laughs and screams (He can tell something big is coming, and by the time I get to my fourth or fifth consecutively higher pitched "Ugh's", the boy is in hysterics, arms flailing, open mouth smiles and the look as though he's thinking - 'oh no, here it comes again... please, oh please... oh you get me every time you crazy old man you'. (Well, at least that's what I tell myself he's thinking - in all reality he's probably thinking "where's mom?")
He's also taken to drooling... we officially have a baby now... no baby is complete without the constant drool not only on his chin, but stainly reminders on our shoulders and sleeves.
And now, a little something for the 'elders' who stumble across this post... What's with the weather??
Damn you Ronald Reagan... (shaking my fist up high)...It went from double digits, to snow, to a friggen thunderstorm the other night... thunderstorm - fully equipped with the lighting and the whole 'thunder' thing... and now blistering wind that literally shakes the house.
(Hmm... in my head, I thought I had much more exciting comments to make regarding the topic of global warming, full of playful humour and witty quips... but I'm witted out...)
Well, I feel better now... it was WAY too long to go without making note of the random happenings at the home of Gord.
...but no update would be complete without an appearance by the boy himself...


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Postcards from the 'Performance Evaluation'...

I know I'm good at my job, but I really hate it when the boss is around overlooking everything I do.

I had the privilege of having the big boss shadow me and perform an 'impromptu' evaluation. Things started out ok, but when she showed up, things started going down hill. Normally things go quite smooth, with little fuss, but this one time in particular, this guy was just not co-operating.

I did my thing, exactly what I was supposed to do, but there are certain situations that are out of my control.

She was literally right over my shoulder, critiquing things as I'm in the middle of doing what I thought was a pretty good job. Worse yet, she the decided to change things and take away a few of my 'privileges'. Things that I like to have while doing my job were taken away from me... 'advice' given... turning to suggestions... turning to 'Let me take over'... She says I did was doing alright, but still, things like that bother me.

What was I supposed to do? The diaper change and bottle warming went perfectly with little fuss... and Gord usually doesn't care when the TV is on, as it gives me something to do at 3am while he eats... and he normally falls asleep nearing the end... but no, not last night... thrashing and squirming, crying and fussing... I swear he new his Mom showed up... he's always trying to get me in trouble, that kid.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Postcards from the Hotel Room...

Well, as I had an early morning appointment and the weather wasn't looking too favorable, I opted to stay overnight in Windsor.

I have to admit... I feel guilty.

Generally speaking, guilt doesn't arise unless you have something to feel guilty about... and well, considering I have 12 hours of no baby monitors, 2 beds, 1 fruit platter, and 2 beer on their way up to the room, it's fair to say that I have something to feel guilty about.

It's not like I wanted to leave home... really... It was a smart decision to get in to Windsor early. Perhaps though I could have waited until 8 or 9 to leave - when Kim went to bed, but instead I left early enough so I could take advantage of the 'expensed' dinner... so that's where the guilt creeps in... hmmm, maybe I should have just ordered up 1 beer....

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Postcards from the Gene Pool...

Now, "I" may not have a Masters in Genetics, but I can tell there were some genes passed on here...

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Postcard To Gordon...Month 2

Dear Gordon,

2 months since you flew in to this world butt first and perpetually changed our lives. I’ve had so much fun with you over this last month. You are really starting to pay attention to the world around you, and learn what life is all about. This month has brought with it a lot of new experiences and highlights for me as a father, and I thought I would share them with you. These are just a few of my favourite things from this past month…

- When Mom brings you down to my desk following your afternoon feeding and we play
- When you ‘pretend’ to be fussy in your crib and I come up to soothe you, and we just hang out together mesmerized by the illumination on the ceiling
- When you stop everything, bear down and grunt like theirs no tomorrow with no other care in the world other than getting that poop out – All your missing is your paper and a cup of coffee
- The ‘Burp and Spray’
- The ‘dead squirrel’ face when you fall asleep
- When you ‘talk’ with me before and during a diaper change
- The little smiles increasingly less rare that show up when I do just the right thing
- Your sneezes, especially when your little spray hits my face
- Putting you on my shoulder, whether to soothe, sleep, burp or hug – especially the hugs
- It’s worth mentioning twice – the hugs. Even though they are not quite reciprocated, I LOVE holding you on my shoulder while I wrap my arms all the way around your button butt and back
- Watching you learn and discover sights and sounds – I can just see your brain working out the circuits
- When you awake from a nap
- When I get home from being away for the day
- The dazed and confused ‘Whoa, what was that?’ face you get after a big burp
- Your yawns and little sighs that follow
- The joy of being able to soothe you, and rock you back to sleep and provide the security that you often seek

There are so many things that I love and cherish every day, but most importantly, I love that every day brings new things, new experiences and a whole lot of unknown. It has become very apparent to me this last month that you have your whole life ahead of you. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it is too grand a concept to put into any other words. There is so much life you have yet to live… and what excites me the most, is I plan on being there with you.

Love Dad.

Postcards from The Usual Suspects...

I'm not sure if any one has been following the news here in london, but there was a bank robbery this week, and quite a bit of 'Gang Related' activity in the area. So officials are really cracking down.

Locals have been on the lookout for a gang of young men. They are reportedly carrying 'loaded' diapers and will spit up on you without warning.

They can be identified by their trail of drool, easy distraction to Baby Einstein videos and plastic cup and spoons.

Their only known photo's were taken following a raid earlier this week where they were brought in for questioning and released under house arrest.

At this time, I would like to introduce... "The Usual Suspects".


Sticky Lips

Lady Killer

(Don't let his size fool you - He's been known to eat off of both breasts in one sitting)


The Godfather

If you see any of these 'Men'... proceed with caution, and please call their mothers.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Postcards from a Big Prick...

What could do this to our little Gordie?

Let's back it up...
The waiting... Oh if he only knew this wasn't play time...

In this corner... weighing in at 10 lbs, 12 ounces....
mmm.... Physical... That's my boy!"Hey There!"
" Oh, thats not so bad!"
Never mind...

And the recovery....

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Postcards from Gord's future girlfriend...

I hope Julie and Thomas don't mind me introducing Celia, Gord's future girlfriend... if he's lucky... So take note Gord, she likes swimming...

Long walks...

and self help books...

Postcards from Boys Night...

Oh were the days when I would look forward to a night when Kim went out and left me the house... now, I have to admit... the idea of her leaving freaked me out at first!

Kim decided to make use of her gift from the lab and go to 'the spa'. Which means that for the first time, it's a boys night in.

Not that i'm 'freaked out' to be alone with the boy, it's just this is the first time I'M COMPLETELY responsible. Even though I have had my alone time with Gord while Kim was sleeping, at least I always had her around. Well, more importantly... her boobs. You never know when the poop machine is going to need to restock his inventory. It was always a fall back, if he couldn't be soothed, feed him. But, she was smart and planned ahead, and left me a bottle.

Well, it's an hour and a half in to my night, and so far so good - he's been sleeping. 1 hour to... I think I can do it!!

Uh oh... something stirs upstairs...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Postcards from the bubble...

On my way home today, thinking of Gord I might add, I saw up ahead two girls on the side of the road. It was a very residential area and I was driving quite slowly so I was able to get a good view of them. They were about 11 - 13 years old. There was one girl standing under a nice big branchy tree (that reminded me of the tree that used to be infront of my house as a kid). The other girl was laying back on her elbows on the grassy incline on the edge of a front yard.

Anyhow, what caught my attention was the one girl threw something (I think a branch) up into the tree. Nothing returned. She then grabbed another branch and again threw it up into the tree. I then noticed that something was up in the tree - some kind of pink belt thing-a-ma-jig. Well, what stayed with me was the laugh that not only she burst into, but the completely innocent fun filled laugh that the other girl was breaking into. It just made me think of childhood - not only mine, but the innocent child hood behaviour that I look forward to Gord embarking on. Seriously - a big smile came across my face and all my concerns about his future and the troublesome temptations I can't help but think he will come across faded away, and it felt good to be a parent.

With the smile still stuck on my face all the while basking in my parental bliss I rounded the next corner... up ahead is another group of kids on the other side of the road - with one girl about the same age maybe younger, 10ish, standing in the middle of the road. As I approach, meanwhile slowing right down to 10km/hr or so she's looking at me hand on hip, with this look that screams, "that's right, i'm standing on the road... what are YOU going to do about it"... and her 'posse' back on the side of the road with their own expressions on their face like "Oh my God, she is soooo standing on the road, I can't believe she is actually doing that, she is SO keewwwl".

So being a parent now, and all 'responsible' I come to a complete stop about 10 m infront of her until she moves off to the sidewalk, and I just give her a metaphorical 'wag my finger , you should know better' look, cause that's right, I'm the grown up, and I always get last say... or so I thought.

As I drive off, realizing the slight contrast between the two situations, I still held on to the last glimmer of hope that Gord's childhood will still be filled with innocent fun, and realized we all did the 'harmless' dares that little miss daredevil embarked on... until I look in my rear view mirror to see the TEN year old little girl, giving me the finger!!! WHA?

The next thing I heard was a loud pop - it was the bubble I so briefly lived in.